Anniversary Interview 3: My Wife

Anniversary Interviews

Welcome to the third anniversary interview where I interview loved ones about my Autism diagnosis! To read more about why I’m doing the interviews, check out the first interview (linked below).

The interviews will be with:
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1) New friends: Anniversary Interview 1: New Friends

2) A high school friend: Anniversary Interview 2: High School Friend

3) My wife

4) My parents: Anniversary Interview 4: My Parents

Then, I will share my reflections on the experience. Enjoy!

Note: These are all people who have been actively trying to learn about Autistic people and how to better interact with and support us. Please be understanding and forgiving of anything like using person-first language (“person with autism”), using functioning labels, or anything of that nature.  All of those being interviewed are being gracious enough to agree to put themselves in a vulnerable situation, and I really appreciate that. Thanks!

Interviewing My Wife

1) I told you very early on in our friendship that I was probably Autistic. What were your initial thoughts?

My wife: I hadn’t had any close friends who were autistic before, so I didn’t really have any preconceived idea about what to expect. I knew that I liked you and we were getting along well, so I was happy that you were willing to be open with me. I was glad you wanted to help me get to know and understand you better.

2) What’s it like being married to an Autistic person? What are some of the things you love about my being Autistic?

My wife: It just seems like such an integral part of who you are that I couldn’t imagine and wouldn’t want you to be any other way. I try my best to pay attention to when you might be overstimulated or near a meltdown and do what I can to help you avoid or recover from those situations. I definitely find myself noticing strong smells, sights, and sounds that may cause problems for people with sensory issues more than I used to.

I have learned so much about autism and the autistic community and I try to use that knowledge to better myself and be a better ally.  I really appreciate you teaching me about how diverse the autistic community really is in terms of race, gender, sexual orientation, interests, etc. It is vitally important for allies to listen to autistic people’s narratives and stop spreading misconceptions.

3) What kind of positive changes have you seen in me in the last year? How have I grown or changed?

My wife: You’ve been self-advocating and much more willing to stim and be yourself around others. I’m very proud of you and it’s inspirational to see you start being more authentically you.

I now realize how much you have to mask and what a drain it is on you. I can tell what a relief it has been for you to start masking less when you feel comfortable.

4) What do you think about Seeking Sara? What kinds of things are still unclear to you? What would you like me to write about in the future?

My wife: I think it’s amazing and so important for you to share your experiences. I’m so happy you’ve been able to reach and help so many people.

I really liked your podcast with Jeanette [Purkis] and your collaboration with Elyana [Prismatic] and would love to see/hear more collaborations with other bloggers and advocates out there. I’m proud of how hard you work to be an advocate, and are part of such an important movement of autistic people being heard.

A huge thank you to my lovely wife for letting me interview her. I love you!

The next interview will be with my parents!! Stay tuned for that next week.

Thanks for reading!

[image description: A picture of green leaves and a few purple flowers with a big white rectangle placed on top of it. Text on a blue box reads, “Interviewing My Wife About My Autistic Self.” The word “wife” are written in green while the rest is written in white.]

8 thoughts on “Anniversary Interview 3: My Wife”

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