I identify as non-binary trans masculine. For me, this means that I do not identify as the gender I was assigned at birth, and I experience a lot of dysphoria because my mind and heart do not match my body. In order to help treat this disconnect, I have been on testosterone hormone therapy for 4 months now. The journey to beginning this therapy has been a long time coming. 30 years, in fact.
In October, I wrote a guest piece for an LGBTQIA+ platform called The Buckeye Flame.
Here is a preview of it:
When scrolling through TikTok, you might think that all trans and non-binary people figure out their true identity as teenagers. As a 30-year-old non-binary trans masculine adult who started low-dose testosterone (T) therapy 2 months ago, I can assure you that that’s not the case. My journey to starting T has been decades in the making and has been nothing like I imagined.
But there was more than Jojo. My heroes were Disney’s Mulan, Sailor Uranus (AKA Haruka) from Sailor Moon, Alanna from Tamora Pierce’s “Song of the Lioness” series, and so many more. I didn’t realize it then, but I identified so strongly with those characters in part due to their gender exploration and identities.
Fast forward a decade, and I am finally transitioning. I’ve come out to family, friends, and coworkers. I have legally changed my name and started using they/them pronouns exclusively. I started to phase out clothes from my wardrobe that make me uncomfortable and bought chest binders.
And eight weeks ago, I started testosterone therapy.
To check out the full piece, please click the link below. As always, thank you reading!
I recently appeared on the podcast “Autism Stories” by Autism Personal Coach (@AutismPersonalCoach social media) to answer question about meltdowns and shutdowns, pillars, identity and community, masking, diagnosis, blogging, and more!
Scroll down to listen to the episode or find the transcript!
Autism Personal Coach “celebrates Neurodiversity by empowering adults and teens to be the best versions of their authentic selves” in a world not often built with us Autistic people in mind. They connect their audience with people and tools to grow, learn, and thrive.
Episode description from Autism Stories:
“Figuring out who we are and what we want is a lifelong quest. On this episode of Autism Stories we talk with Sara Earhart about how being diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder led her to start a blog, Seeking Sara, and helped to give her a much better understanding of who she is. Autism Stories connects you with amazing people who are helping Autistic teens and adults become more independent and successful.”
Ok, so…I’ve been debating how/if/when to address this for a full year now.
After all, one of the main reason I started this blog back in April 2018 was to respond to the disheartening wave of negative posts and videos I saw all across social media that month when no one knew I was Autistic. I’ve put it off this whole time because conflict makes me ridiculously anxious. But as April approaches, I feel the need to step up and speak out. It’s time to rip off the bandaid, just like I did last April when I came out as Autistic through this blog.
Please bear with me. I know for some of you this will be a very uncomfortable read. But I urge you to please listen to Autistics!
To put it bluntly: Autism Speaks does not speak for me. I am not a puzzle piece, and I do not “light it up blue.” I do not support eugenics and I reject the notion that Autistics need to be “fixed” or “cured.” (I support assistance, accommodation, and adaptation!)
Phew, ok. I said it.
Now… to address why. (Eek!)
So many others have already spoke about this, so I will use their resources rather than try to re-explain my reasoning. I urge you to check them out with an open mind and consider donating to and supporting other, Autistic-led organizations.
This video by Amythest Schaber (Ask an Autistic on YouTube and Neurowonderful on tumblr) from 2014 is a good place to start. The video raises fantastic points and is worth a watch, though some of the data shared is outdated. (More up-to-date info below and it’s not pretty.)
Here is an image from ASAN (Autistic Self Advocacy Network), detailing how Autism Speaks uses their funds. Note that less that ONE POINT SIX PERCENT of funds is now devoted to family services…
If you would like to hear more Autistic voices communicate their discomfort with Autism Speaks, feel free to check out this list of posts, A Roundup of Posts Against Autism Speaks.
***If you are still on the edge of whether or not to support Autism Speaks, please watch this video: I Am Autism. *** Ask yourself how Autistics feel watching this. (Hint: NOT GOOD.)
(Autistics… I recommend you do not watch it. It is horrific and it honestly makes me depressed and anxious. Please take care of yourself and stop or don’t watch.)
Funny how the only voices presented are “Autism’s” and parents. No Autistic people… hmm… it’s almost like they don’t value Autistic people’s thoughts and feelings…
Phew. Okay. I did it. In time for April 1st. Done.
If you—like me before my research into and subsequent diagnosis of ASD—currently or used to support Autism Speaks, please don’t hold onto guilt.
Instead, please consider arming yourself with facts, research Autism Speaks and alternative organizations, and pledge not to support organizations who speak about us rather than including us and amplifying our voices. (As ASAN says: “Nothing about us without us!”)
Not An Autism Mom reached out to me for a guest article on her blog where she is featuring Autistic voices. Here is “4 Things I Want People to Know About My Autistic Self”!
Autistically Alex 